Wow!

I had no idea how much food I would have to eat to stay comfortable eating raw vegan. I feel like I was eating all day long, and I just felt voracious. I guess I get why horses and cows and other herbivores graze all day. I ate a whole watermelon (not in one sitting), a bunch of bananas, probably 4 oranges and then finally steamed the last of the trout in the fridge and felt completely defeated. It didn't matter what I ate or how much, I just couldn't get enough to feel satiated. I guess I get where one of the raw fruitarian websites get's it's name... 30 Bananas a Day. I probably could have eaten that many but I felt a like a pig and I realized that I way under shopped. My son isn't faring too well, so he's gone back to fish, so far today though, I've had no animal derived proteins. He would totally live on oranges, apples and bananas, but he just kept saying how hungry he was. I know this is a learning curve, I figure I can put him on it slowly as I get the hang of it. I can't expect a 4 year old to get it all of a sudden. Plus, with how picky kids can be, it's hard to be sure he's getting everything he needs.

Today, we went to the Farmer's Market and even though I have said I'm going Raw, I did have a Vegan Strawberry Cupcake. It was divine and I felt horrible for breaking my word to myself the 2nd time since I committed to it. I do get though that getting discouraged is how people give up on things, so I just told myself that I'm still learning and went on my way. I'm still in shock over the sheer quantity of things I have to eat and how quickly I go from feeling okay to hungry. It's amazing how full and for how long you're full something like fish can make you feel. It's understanding how so many people fail on this lifestyle. They give up before they get any real health benefits from it because you just can't feel satisfied on roughage right away. In that way, I see how animal flesh is addictive.

I'm going to keep on trucking, though. I know I'm going to screw up and I'm prepared for it. One thing that I am going to miss is honey. Here in Ohio it's such a big part of the organic and farmer's market scene that it's unavoidable. Is honey really that bad in small quantities? Ethically speaking. Bees aren't harmed anymore. They used to be, but that was well over 100 years ago. I really loved it drizzled in super fine, almost hair thin ribbons all over some fresh strawberries, peaches, hell, almost any fruit. The warm taste it add is like Summer in your mouth. Yum. Okay, I'm going to stop now before I get myself into trouble.